


We Are Enough

by MissMouse1421



Series: Season 14 Codas [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coda, Comforting Castiel (Supernatural), Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Unstable Dean Winchester, Episode: s14e13 Lebanon, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hugs, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-24 16:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17707913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMouse1421/pseuds/MissMouse1421
Summary: The tag 'Emotionally Unstable Dean Winchester' seems to be becoming a theme in all of my codas. Is that funny or sad? I don't even know anymore.Disclaimer: As we all know, I don't own Supernatural.





	We Are Enough

**Author's Note:**

> The tag 'Emotionally Unstable Dean Winchester' seems to be becoming a theme in all of my codas. Is that funny or sad? I don't even know anymore.
> 
>  Disclaimer: As we all know, I don't own Supernatural.

Walking into the bunker and seeing all the Winchesters in tears had been a shock to Castiel's system. What could have possibly happened in between the short time he was out on a hunt and the last time he saw them that could have left them all so broken? Castiel didn't get the full story until much later. Sam and Mary were both emotionally drained and decided Cas didn't need all three of them to tell their story, so they entrusted the task to Dean and headed off to bed, whispering how much they loved each other before parting ways.

Despite his anxiousness to find out exactly what had happened, Cas suggested that Dean take a nice long shower and change into something more comfortable before getting into it because frankly, he was a mess.

Cas waited in Dean's bedroom until the hunter came shuffling in, dragging his feet and scrubbing a towel through his hair. His physical appearance looked a little better, but there was still a deep sadness in his eyes that only became truly apparent when Dean finally met his gaze from across the room.

Dean's story was incredible.

He wearily told Cas about finding the pearl, got choked up when he explained how it felt to see his father again, and finally Dean described meeting a different version of the angel, a Castiel that had never met the Winchesters. And apparently that Castiel was also responsible for the bruising on Dean's face and the cut on his lip. When all was said and done it was a lot for Castiel to take in.

They stood there in Dean's room in silence for a moment, neither one of them knowing quite just what to say. Castiel didn't know how he could help in this situation. Dean was so... numb, this far away look in his eyes, almost zombie-like. It unnerved Cas to no end.

“Are you alright?” It was a stupid question, the angel knew that, but it opened up the door for Dean to be able to say whatever it was he needed to say to process the heartache he had suffered and try to work through it.

A tremor went through Dean’s body and Castiel wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them and wrap Dean up in his arms, try to hug away all the pain he was going through, try to quell the feelings of guilt clawing away at Castiel’s conscious for not having been there for him. But Cas couldn’t do that. Not yet. Dean was so fragile. Everything needed to be on his terms.

Dean took a shaky breath and finally responded. “No. I’m not.” When he met the angel’s concerned blue eyes again, Castiel could see he was fighting back tears. “I lost him all over again.”

“I’m sorry...” Castiel said, because what else was he supposed to say? There was no string of carefully constructed words that could make this whole situation less traumatic for Dean, no real comfort he could offer through physical contact or heartfelt platitudes starting and ending with 'you did the right thing'.

His father was gone, and Castiel wasn’t going to pretend he knew what Dean needed to heal from that, but whatever decision he made, whatever Dean chose to do from this moment on, it would be neither right nor wrong, just something he has to do for himself, and Castiel would honor that to the best of his abilities.

"I lost you too."

And there it was, the subtle permission Castiel had been waiting for to touch him, to try and establish a connection between them, let Dean know Cas was there for him if the hunter wanted him to be. Dean looked like a wounded animal as he watched Castiel take the few steps towards him and come to a stop a few inches in front of him. With a troubled crease in his brow Castiel lifted his right hand and carefully traced his finger tips over the red and purple bruising covering Dean's cheek.

"How do I apologize for a different version of myself nearly killing you?" Castiel murmured, letting his thumb slide down to Dean's parted lips, gently caressing the scabbed over cut there.

“Don’t." Dean's fist clenched at his side, fighting himself on what he wanted and what he thought he shouldn't. And when a shaky exhale fanned out over Castiel's thumb, he knew the hunter had made a decision. "Just... come here?”

The questioning inflection in Dean's voice broke Castiel's resolve. The two of them moved at the same time, arms wrapping around the other, holding each other tight. Dean nuzzled his face into the junction between Castiel's neck and collar bone, fingers digging into the trench coat at the angel's back. He lifted his chin a little so he could speak without sounding muffled.

“It sucked. You not knowing who we were." Dean let out a breathy laugh sounding a little more like himself as Castiel cradled the back of his neck with his hand and started massaging the skin there. "That Castiel was kind of a dick. No offence.”

“Your story only reaffirms what I’ve believed to be true all along.” Castiel let his eyes slip closed for a moment, savoring the heat of Dean's body wrapped around his own, compliant, trusting, only for him, before leaning back and studying the hunter's face, green eyes wet and glassy staring back at him. 

“My life is so much better having met you,” Castiel told him, and he remembered saying something like this to Dean once before what felt like a lifetime ago, but that didn't make it any less true now. And it didn't stop Dean's lips from twitching into that shy little smile of his before he leaned in and pressed their lips together in a silent thank you. What he was thanking the angel for—there were too many things for Dean to list.

After they broke apart Dean sniffled and took a step back. Eyes back to the floor he rolled his shoulders as if to reset himself. Castiel watched his movements carefully, unsure if their moment had reached its expiration date or not. Dean fidgeted as he began to speak.

“You know today... watching my Mom and Dad together. That was the first time I had seen them like that in a long, long time. And it kinda threw me. Getting to see the way they looked at each other, how they felt when the other was in the room. That type of love... it was like I was seeing it for the first time. But it also reminded me of how I feel about you.”

When Dean finally found the courage to look at him, Castiel was already feeling warm and anticipating his next words.

“I love you, Cas. I want you to know that. I _need_ you to know that.” And maybe it should have been a bigger deal than it was, maybe Castiel should have felt shocked, elated, overwhelmed. Maybe even a little scared. Dean had never said those words to him out loud before. But Castiel decided early on in their relationship that he didn't have to. Dean had made his true feelings clear countless times through his actions.

It was in the way Dean worried himself sick when Castiel didn't check in after a hunt had dragged on longer than expected. It was in the way Dean would get clingy with him whenever he hit the bottle a little too hard on a boring night with nothing better to do. It was in the way Dean would drop all inhibitions and lose himself when they made love because he trusted Castiel to take care of him, watch over him.

And it was in the way Dean was looking at him right now. That was all the proof Castiel needed.

So no, the angel wasn't surprised to hear it, but Dean's expression had shifted as if he said something life-changing, like a sudden weight had been lifted off his shoulders because of _course_ that's something he would agonize over. Cas not _knowing._ And maybe Dean only said it because he was feeling sensitive about what happened with John. Or maybe he had been trying to get it out for a long time now. It didn't really matter either way, as long as Dean heard from Castiel himself that he was doing enough, that he was enough just _being_  and believed him. That's all that really mattered.

“I do,” Castiel said, and he once again pulled Dean into his space, felt the need to repeat himself. Just because. "I do."

Dean leaned in and kissed him again, sighing contently as he curled his fingers around Castiel's coat lapels, holding him close, breathing the same air.

“Stay with me tonight.” 

This time there was no hesitation in Dean’s request, and Castiel smiled into their next kiss.

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. I'm sorry I was so late for this one! As always comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.


End file.
